Tag Archive | correction

A Tree Planted

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lordand who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.” Psalm 1:1-3

©Depositphotos/picsbyst

©Depositphotos/picsbyst

 

I’ve walked in step with the wicked and stood in the way that sinners take. I’ve also sat in the company of mockers. I tried to find a place to fit in wanting to puff myself up so I didn’t feel so small and inadequate.

Instead, I felt empty and dirty. I didn’t like what was coming out of my mouth nor the feelings I harbored in my heart. I was not kind or gentle, but rather harsh and belittling.

Understand, I had friends. I laughed and loved, cared for and enjoyed time with people who I honestly thought of quite highly. The problem was that for those I didn’t like, those who I didn’t consider friends, I could be quite mean-spirited. I didn’t necessarily say anything to their face, but behind their back it was no-holds-barred.

A friend of mine once said, when talking about something her husband had said or done, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. In other words, it was okay that she was breaking his confidence by telling us what had happened.

That was a turning point for me. I realized that he trusted her and even though she didn’t agree with his thinking, she had belittled him. She mocked him behind his back. And if we’re willing to do it to those we love and care for, or are supposed to love and care for, how much worse are we willing to treat those we don’t like or even know?

Choosing where to be planted

Psalm 1:3 says that the person whose delight is in the law of the Lord, the person who meditates on Him and His word day and night, that person is blessed. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water. They yield fruit in their season and do not wither.

Consider for a moment that we are trees, but unlike real trees, we can plant ourselves wherever we choose. Also imagine that the soil is the condition of our hearts and the water is the Holy Spirit at work in our lives. Where we choose to plant ourselves will determine our overall health because the condition of the soil and the source the soil feeds on will allow us to either have healthy or unhealthy roots.

Planting yourself in the world

According to 2 Peter 1, the worldly nature is corrupt and deceitful. Ephesians 4 adds attitudes and behaviors such as speaking falsely, unwholesome talk, stealing, bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander and every form of malice. The list goes on and on throughout Scripture.

Not many people think they would choose to plant themselves in these actions or feelings, but we do it all the time. When we don’t forgive, we may be holding onto a grudge, feeling resentment or bitterness toward someone. We experience a form of malice when we are happy or relieved that someone who has hurt us is hurt themselves. We’re glad they’re getting what they deserve. Twisting the truth is a lie. Gossip can cause someone to see another in a bad light.

By planting ourselves in the world, we separate ourselves from the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. We live in a place where we are mostly unaffected by the work of the Spirit and the soil, or our hearts, will remain hard and unyielding. Our roots will grow out rather than down to find what we need. They will remain shallow as our hearts look to the world to meet our needs, rather than the Spirit within us.

Planting yourself in Christ

On the other hand, when we plant ourselves in soil that is rich with the Holy Spirit, our hearts will become softer and more pliable to the work of the Spirit. We yield more willingly to the Spirit. This doesn’t mean there’s no pain in the movement of the soil. There may be places that are not as saturated, places we’ve kept closed off to the Spirit. Once we’ve experienced the goodness of God’s work in our lives, we become more willing to let Him into the deeper, darker and dryer places.

2 Peter 1 and Ephesians 4 also give us some information about the behaviors, attitudes and motivations that cause our roots to grow down rather than out. When we speak truthfully building others up with words that benefit them, work hard sharing with others, and are compassionate and forgiving, we make space for the Spirit to work in our hearts.  We can persevere with self-control loving others as we trust God’s will over our own.

We we dig deep letting the living water of the Spirit saturate our hearts, our roots grow deep. We look to Him to lead, guide, correct and encourage us. We find our peace and satisfaction in Him as our source rather than the world.

 

Something to Consider…

Where do you tend to plant yourself – in the world or in Christ? To whose voice do you tend to listen? Be honest with yourself and with God. He already knows the condition of your soil and roots.

How have your thinking and actions changed as you’ve let God have more space in your heart and life? In what places do you need to seek Him above the worlds influence?

As you spend more time talking with God, reading His word and responding to what He’s saying to you, you will find His company better than any other.

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A Wise Leader (Part 1)

© Depositphotos.com/ robertprzybysz

© Depositphotos.com/
robertprzybysz

This is a multi-part blog based on my experience of learning to ask for, receive and accept feedback.

Love and truth form a good leader; sound leadership is founded on loving integrity. Proverbs 20:28 (The Message)

I’m involved in a two-year leadership program at my church. It’s been both challenging and rewarding as we learn about leadership characteristics, church history and movements, and ultimately, what it means to be a Christ follower leading with a servant’s heart. We also break into smaller discipleship groups and talk specifically about what God is doing in our lives, how He’s teaching, loving and caring for us, as well as using us to show His love and compassion to others. Each week we set ourselves aside and soak up what the speaker has to say, what God wants us to hear and how we can move more freely in what He wants us to do. It’s truly a great opportunity to come alongside others who want to be living fully in God’s presence specifically in an area of leadership, wherever that may be.

Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Proverbs 15:31 (NIV)

A few weeks ago we heard a talk about feedback versus criticism (delivered by my wonderful husband, Craig, by the way). I admit this has been a very difficult place for me. I hear through the lens of criticism most of the time. I’ve realized over the last two years that I do not trust many people and even those I trust most, I am still hesitant with in certain situations and with certain topics. I don’t expect others to think the best of me. I also expect to be sacrificed for the sake of others.

God’s love, and the way we are to love each other, is a sacrificial love. It’s a love that gives, serves and even dies for another. But this sacrificial love requires a willingness on the part of the one sacrificing. It is a choice to put yourself in front of an issue and take a stand understanding the risk versus someone taking a step back or no step at all and putting you out in front to take the brunt of the problem.

What I’ve come to understand and am learning to accept is that God is my protection regardless if I’m “sacrificed” by my own choice or the decision of others. Regardless of what comes at me or what I’m thrown into, God has my back. He loves me unconditionally and I am safe, accepted, protected, and loved simply because I trust Him to do so. He is the One through whom all blessings flow, all good things come and He will never leave me to figure things out on my own. He’s in it with me. I just need to trust and obey.

So, back to the point of my message … feedback and criticism.

We were tasked with sending out a review to people who are over, under and next to us. In other words, those who we answer to in our work or volunteering, those we work or serve alongside and those who answer to us in some role or have experienced us as leaders. This can include at work, at church, in ministry, volunteering, family and even friends. (i.e., my husband and I are part of a small group and we’ve organized many functions together. They know how I operate in a group setting working together to accomplish a common goal.)

After I sent the survey, the first thing I did was make a list of every negative thing people could say so that nothing would surprise me. This way, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad to actually hear what a failure I’ve been. The next thing was to go through the list of rated questions and rate myself. I don’t know that I would actually recommend doing either of these things, but it’s just the truth of what I did at the time.

We received our responses this week. In my next blogs I’d like to share a few things I learned about myself and others through this process. For now, I wonder if you’d be willing to consider a few questions yourself.

Something to Consider…

  1. Do you understand the difference between feedback and criticism? Here is a simple definition of each:

Criticism – to find or point out fault

Feedback – to give evaluative or corrective information

Criticism tells you what you did wrong. Feedback helps you move forward. In The 360 Degree Leader, John Maxwell addresses this topic. I highly encourage you to check out this book if you are interested in growing as a leader.

  1. How well do you do at giving and receiving feedback? Do you dread hearing what others have to say about your quality of work or your ability to respond and interact with others? Or do you welcome counsel and advice about how to improve your skills both practically and relationally?
  2. How might God want to grow you in this area? How might God want to use you to help others grow in this area?